“There is always madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.”

–Friedrich Nietzsche

Although I do agree with Friedrich Nietzsche, I have to be honest. Modern relationships have more madness in them than any other mental hospital out there. To me, current relationships are some of the most irrelevant relationships in existence today.

How do I know this? Simple, I’m not blind. Take a stroll in the streets of online social media and you’ll be amazed by what you see hear. Number two, I’ve been around long enough to tell the difference believe me, there is a huge difference!

Stories from parents other older siblings in my life reflected a time when dating, love, marriage, and starting a family seemed like “the dream.” Nowadays however, the story is quite different. The whole game has been barraged by gender wars, feminism, tons of other irrelevant topics.

Gone are the days when two people would get into a relationship simply to start a family. Nowadays, there are other reasons to get into a relationship beside love. I’m willing to admit that the classic stories of love that we used to hear are just that; stories!

Problems with Modern-Day Love

Unrealistic Expectations

“Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get–only with what you are expecting to give–which is everything.”

–Katharine Hepburn

Let’s be honest, a majority of people get into relationships nowadays based on what they can get rather than what they can give. Just take a scroll through any dating app. You will definitely see the “financially stable” requirement more times that you’d want to admit.

Why does every girl want a financially stable guy? It’s obvious that anyone who wants a financially stable mate is definitely looking to enjoy the benefits of that individual’s hard work. Unfortunately, I’m on the other end of the spectrum. I believe in starting together and getting to where we both want to be; financially, emotionally, physically.

Love has nothing to do with having financial wealth. Although it should be a goal. And even when someone has financial wealth, it doesn’t mean that they are going to love you harder. It’s a delusion that just needs to get buried once for all.

Lack of Trust

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”

–Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I bet you’ve come across “loyalty Test” videos on YouTube, or whatever social media platform you use. Isn’t it always funny how there I always something crazy going on. Either the dude has some side-chicks or the girl has some “bones in the closet.”

It’s never “Oh look, I’m loyal, honest, loving, committed.” There’s always some crazy stuff happening. And thanks to biometric and improved technology, it’s becoming super easy for people to just start other relationships out there, despite being in relationships too.

However, one of the major foundations of love is trust. If you are busy looking out for each other’s flaws, there is not trust. And a general lack of trust is definitely bound to bring the relationship down, or to its knees. That’s why it’s always, “Us against the World.” Not, me against the world.

Self-Centered Narcissistic Control-Freaks

“Love does not dominate; it cultivates.”

— Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Yeah, you’ve seen. Probably on social media always trying to control the narrative. No offense to Amber Heard but Damn! My man Johnny was on the receiving end of a serial narcissist who mercilessly took advantage of the guy for years.

Unfortunately, people like Amber Heard who think that they are always right is what is wrong with this world. Too many control freaks trying to take advantage of honest, loyal, loving people.

It’s only when the bough breaks that they realize how wrong they were. By then, they have already lost a good person ruined any chances of a second chance. Let’s dial down on the self-love people. Love is about giving, not dominating.

Too Materialistic

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

— Oprah Winfrey

People want to get on your level when you are on the top. However, nobody wants to help you build that ladder. Oprah was absolutely right; people always want to get in with you while you are in the limo. But nobody wants to get on the bus with you.

Unfortunately, the influence of a materialistic culture dreams of making it big have made quite the change. Attitudes towards working hard rising steadily have been completely thrown out the door.

Everybody wants to get in on the fun, but nobody wants to plan the party. Things to buy will always be around. First get the love, then get the bag. People have had it twisted for such a long time!

Lack of Sacrifice

“True love is singing karaoke Under Pressure and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.”

-Mindy Kaling

Life is all about sacrifice. That’s why we have savings account. Sometimes it’s just worth sacrificing some money now, for the sake of a better life ahead. Same thing with love. You have to sacrifice something now, to get a brighter future in love.

Unfortunately, this is why you get husbands or wives doing double-shifts and running the whole show while their significant other parties does nothing. This is a sure-fire way to obliterate any love that you may have between two people.

As Mindy Kaling says, you’ve got to sing your part let the other person sing theirs. Together, you can make a wonderful song.

What Happened?

What happened? How about feminism, gender wars, all of these nasty irrelevant topics that have penetrated into most relationships nowadays. Today, women want equal rights. They want to have a steady career, equal pay, and same benefits.

Awesome. There is nothing wrong with that at all. If you believe that’s want you want, go for it. I see nothing wrong with this. However, earning and gaining any of these things doesn’t make you any more or less of a woman. The fact remains that you are still a woman.

And as a woman, you have a role to play in every relationship. For starters, it’s true that most women play the role of care-giver the best. Men, on the other hand, tend to struggle when it comes to that role. They are usually their best when they are the breadwinners.

I don’t mean that women are the sole reason why relationships are messed up today. But that short explanation does give you an insight into what’s wrong today.

There are so many distractions. Words like loyalty, love, commitment, and trust just get thrown around a lot. They have lost complete meaning.

Final Thoughts

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”

–Victor Hugo

Love doesn’t have to complicated. Just ask kids, they’ll tell you. Be loving, caring, accepting of other people’s flaws. You won’t believe how much difference these three things can do in your life. Take a chance.