Now the mother to the child is young, below 35 years, single and hustling her way through life. So she is frustrated by the kind of life she has. And the extra mouth she has to feed is even more frustrating. All these in her mind translate to physically and verbally abusing the child... Let me not call it abuse, let me say, punishing the child? Punishing the child for what the child does not understand and for what she doesn't intend? Well most of the time she goes away and the child is taken care of by the nanny and the neighbours as they live in the same compound. What she doesn't know is that the tug of war between her and the son is a vicious cycle! How? Let's find out. 

So children of any age, and especially that early age of below five years, look for attention from their immediate parent(s). I use the term immediate, discriminately, because it's about which parent is more available. So if both are readily available to the child, the better! So in this case, it's the single mother. The child seeks attention from the mother who has little or no time for the little one. Because she is busy looking for jobs and ways to feed both of them and make them have a sustainable now/future. The child wants and needs to be cuddled, carried around, fed, diapers changed, taught some soft skills like talking, toilet training, etc. But who will do that? The nanny is busy. The neighbours, well try their best to do that, but they aren't always there. At least they are way kinder to the child than the mother is, so this child is more excited to have them around. When the mother comes back, she is tired, she shouts at the poor toddler most of the time, rarely cuddles him. This child always cries, even for no reason because he is anxious. He is also looking for attention but can't say it. The mother can't understand that. So she is frustrated even more and thus the cycle is more vicious. 

So the toddler doesn't interact with other children, because there are none inside his gate. The toddler can't equally say "mama" so that means his speech is impaired because of what he is going through and chances of developing a stammering speech later in life are high. There is also a likelihood of this child developing a personality disorder called Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and this condition can be really frustrating to the child and those taking care of him including his teachers and his peers too. I also found out that the baby is selective to food. Children who are unhappy and those who tend to seek attention, tend to have zero affirnity to food, as much as there are other conditions like autism that would characterize in the same manner. If this child is unhappy, he cannot get enough sleep as he should during the day, that impairs his milestone developments and especially physical, emotional and intellectual well being. The child's self esteem as he grows in such kind of environment will be distorted and he will have low self esteem issues and insecurities as an adult if this kind of environment is not corrected to be a better one early enough. This child is yet to learn toilet training at age three,... Well, let me give that time... But if the environment doesn't change, it won't be a surprise if toilet training is delayed, and this might lead to the child not stopping bed-wetting, which can be a cycle till he grows up, because of the scolding he might continue getting from his environment. 

Allow me to divert abit.... I have a kitten who am thinking of naming "Stuttgart" He is lovely.. Well, lovely when the mother cat is present. But once the cat goes away, this kitten can't stay still. No amount of milk,flakes, meat cools him down.. Well am not sure if it's a he or a she yet... But the kitten just miaows and miaows and I just have to cuddle it, swing it in the air, play around with it and all that tantrum stops... And you know cats are one of the most intelligent animals we have on earth... Can you just relate to my script? 

I just decided to write this article because I believe that so many households go through this kind of situation and it might not be easy to "teach" someone on the how to and how not to take care of their little ones when you don't have a child yet, it can bring a "ahahaha" moment. All am saying is, let's be patient with these cry babies. They cry for a reason. If they are not sick physically, they are mentally. And these kids have emotions, feelings and it's time the parents learnt to read those non-verbal communications and bond with their children once again,make this earth a better place for them. Everyone, including you and me, love attention at some point, why would anyone think that these little ones don't need it either? Give them your time, cuddle them, spoil them once in a while, and yes I say spoil! In a loving way. And just love them. If you know anyone whom you can help with this advice, please do.
I will try start with my neighbour, .... Loving your children or those you are taking care of is never a wasted investment.